"Hello, this is Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
Did you know that the majority of all dead people are Jewish? That's right.
So if you persecute Jews when you're alive, boy are you going to get it...when you're dead."

Written By John Belushi and Brian Doyle-Murray
Performed by Harvey Friedberg and Gilda Radner
From National Lampoon Gold Turkey

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bulls*it." - Mel Brooks

“Today marks a lot of tragedy. … Tragedy comes in threes, Pearl Harbor, Elizabeth Edwards’s passing and Barack Obama’s announcement of extending the tax cuts, which is good, but also extending the unemployment benefits.”

- Christine O’Donnell 

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table — there's nothing wrong with them but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
 - Garrison Keillor

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.  - Woody Allen

 manbirdexperiment wrote: 
She said that 4 times? Has her level of productivity improved? Is Obama's Death Panel something akin to the Death Star? Or would it fit on my Woody?

 ScottFromWyoming wrote: 
Okay. . . . seems an odd post from someone who surely seems to be among those who'd benefit from some sort of government-run insurance program. . . .

(Like me, at many times in my life.  Not meaning to rub anybody the wrong way, here.  Just don't get it.  Shall we see just how far afield this thread can get?  )

EDIT:  Okay, NOW I get it—AND think it's funny!  Sheesh.

 Xeric wrote: 
Sarah Palin - One of my favorites. 

 Xeric wrote: 
A former governor and one-time VP candidate.

 Coaxial wrote: 
I'll miss him.

Odd comedy, there, Rob.  By whom? 

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 

 Hairfarmer wrote: 

He was talking about his arrest in Florida...They found 7/8ths of a gram of marijuana in my bag...I don't know about you but when I have 7/8ths of a gram of marijuana, I'm out of marijuana...

 ptooey wrote: 

"If either the right wing or the left wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."
Pat Paulsen

 smokinsean wrote: 
There's a great cartoon from Leunig (who is internet averse to say the least so I can't find it anywhere)

two beggars on a street corner, one on each side of the building.
The first has a sign saying "I'm blind" and a cup out for loose change
the other has a sign saying, "I can see".

“I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.”

 

- Mitch Hedberg