marko86 wrote: 
sorry for your loss

try and organize family vacations or reunions

make it as easy as possible

peace

 marko86 wrote: 

 marko86 wrote: 

Thanks for all the kind comments.

 marko86 wrote: 
My condolences.  Peace is the goal.  No rules for what comes next.  Memories are now the eternal life.

 

 marko86 wrote: 
My condolences.  You have a road ahead of you.  I felt the same way the night my mother passed.  The stages are confusing and aggravating.  

 Hi marko - I had the same feelings a few months ago when my mother passed. Don't worry about how you 'think you should' feel. We feel how we feel. It's pretty complicated but it's all good.
The odd thing for me is how much more often I find my mother in my thoughts now, more than she ever was when she was alive, and we were close, talked a lot. It's very weird.


marko86 wrote: 

 marko86 wrote:

 
 

It's probably a little of both. It's perfectly natural to be relieved that our dearest loved ones aren't suffering any longer, or even languishing in a quality of life that isn't optimal. And of course, like any loss, grief comes in waves.

 How touching that she got to have her loving son with her when she passed. I hope I get to do the same for my mom (although I suspect I will get "the call" one day instead). I too wonder if our family will start to drift apart a little, since we won't have a common thing to keep one another posted about.

 

My heart goes out to you, Marko....and all your family. May your mother rest in eternal peace.

 marko86 wrote: 
Sincere condolences. When my mom passed away, it didn't really hit me until I visited my parents' house a few days later and saw assorted personal items like her coffee cup & pieces of paper on which she wrote and doodled while playing her daily word games. Since then (two years ago now), grief still hits me unexpectedly at times. As Antigone said, grief is sneaky. Best wishes.

 marko86 wrote: 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do take care of yourself. Grief is a sneaky bastard.

 marko86 wrote: 
So sorry for your loss...My condolences.

 marko86 wrote: 
i'm sorry. my mom - who was in the medical profession - says sometimes it takes 6 weeks to really hit you. be good to you.

Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 FourFortyEight wrote: 
Peace.

 FourFortyEight wrote: 
Courage.

 FourFortyEight wrote: 
Washing your eyeballs from the inside out sometimes is good for the soul...Hang in there.

Man.  I cried hard tonight.  I don't remember crying that hard since I was a child.  After, it felt like a significant amount of weight was shed.  I think I'm in a stage where I accept this pain and it's not manifesting it's self as negativity.  It feels like growth.  I'm thankful for it.  I have a major appreciation of my life tonight.  

Hope you're all well.  Namaste.

 Alexandra wrote: 
I can see that being true.  Mom was in hospice for less than six hours before she passed.  I'm quite sure it's that under-tongue dose of morphine that "took the edge off".  Either way, by that time, and under the circumstances in the end, it was a blessing for mom and I both.  

... if that's what happened. No way to know at this point.

 FourFortyEight wrote:

 
 

Always.

 

And if anyone is all about comfort and NOT suffering, it's Hospice....I'm surprised they don't stay engaged. A friend of mine in the Pharm business who dealt with lots of Hospice reps say it's a huge business these days (now that it's subsidized), even when people aren't near death.

 marko86 wrote: 
I certainly do feel for you in that situation. It gets to a point where, exactly as you said, the lack of quality of life and suffering becomes the major concern.