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BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: planting flowers


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 11:15pm

 black321 wrote:

True. But where do we stop...putting each others' faults on display?  Is an extremely bad groping "joke", worse than the mental turmoil one might have to deal with as a result of a verbally abusive boss?  Should all these "me too" events be thrown into the public light?  I'm not trying to argue an excuse for inexcusable behavior, but it begs the question: Who among us is without sin?
 
*sigh*
black321

black321 Avatar

Location: An earth without maps
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 1:56pm

 lily34 wrote:

but then, with all this going on, i think about what was worse for me than that particular incident - the emotional, mental, psychological abuse i dealt with in my 2nd marriage. it wasn't physical, but it was just as demeaning, devastating and scary. you know? and i think the perpetrator in this case still has no clue.

 
True. But where do we stop...putting each others' faults on display?  Is an extremely bad groping "joke", worse than the mental turmoil one might have to deal with as a result of a verbally abusive boss?  Should all these "me too" events be thrown into the public light?  I'm not trying to argue an excuse for inexcusable behavior, but it begs the question: Who among us is without sin?


meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 5:53am

 lily34 wrote:

that's so true.

i've got my own stuff, too. never really discussed it. date raped in college...yadda yadda.

but then, with all this going on, i think about what was worse for me than that particular incident - the emotional, mental, psychological abuse i dealt with in my 2nd marriage. it wasn't physical, but it was just as demeaning, devastating and scary. you know? and i think the perpetrator in this case still has no clue.

 
I do. And I think that until we start sharing more of our stories and the impact of them on us, perpetrators wont have a clue.
lily34

lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 5:44am

 meower wrote:

I think that part of the problem is that we DO compare. It's all bad, and whatever you might've been exposed to likely was the tip of the iceberg for the perpetrator.

 
that's so true.

i've got my own stuff, too. never really discussed it. date raped in college...yadda yadda.

but then, with all this going on, i think about what was worse for me than that particular incident - the emotional, mental, psychological abuse i dealt with in my 2nd marriage. it wasn't physical, but it was just as demeaning, devastating and scary. you know? and i think the perpetrator in this case still has no clue.
meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 5:09am

 miamizsun wrote:


unfortunately i can relate to the disclosure issue

i feel for the victims here

and serious anger toward the aggressors

going after children? that is unacceptable (those people need help and in some cases feel the wrath)

any experiences i've been party to we're when i was a teenager+ and pale in comparison to some of the stuff i've heard

 
I think that part of the problem is that we DO compare. It's all bad, and whatever you might've been exposed to likely was the tip of the iceberg for the perpetrator.




miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 5:07am

 meower wrote:
There's honestly no need to say anything. I don't want to speak for anyone else here, but my sense is that what many of us want is for people to understand the fact that sharing these stories isn't easy, has repercussions, and that we should in general be believed. In my case, disclosure led to the problems. I'll never really know what would have happened if I'd not disclosed. I assume that I'd be worse off, but I really don't know. It was a traumatic experience to live in a small town that ended up being divided over what had happened to me.
 

unfortunately i can relate to the disclosure issue

i feel for the victims here

and serious anger toward the aggressors

going after children? that is unacceptable (those people need help and in some cases feel the wrath)

any experiences i've been party to we're when i was a teenager+ and pale in comparison to some of the stuff i've heard



meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 4:46am

 miamizsun wrote:

wow these stories  {#Sad}   {#Hug}

i wish i knew what to say

 
There's honestly no need to say anything. I don't want to speak for anyone else here, but my sense is that what many of us want is for people to understand the fact that sharing these stories isn't easy, has repercussions, and that we should in general be believed. In my case, disclosure led to the problems. I'll never really know what would have happened if I'd not disclosed. I assume that I'd be worse off, but I really don't know. It was a traumatic experience to live in a small town that ended up being divided over what had happened to me.

 


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 4:38am

 meower wrote:

 

Molested by an attorney at 11 ~ a politically important man in my town. I acted like nothing had happened (hung out with the family etc.) for a few years, finally disclosed, and That's when the shit hit the fan. Was called every name possible and spat on regularly throughout HS. Lots of boys wanted to hang out with me bc they believed me to be I  experienced.

"kissed" (literal tongue down throat) by a boss in college

date raped in college

Assaulted by a gynecologist in college

Turned around on a subway platform to watch as a man ejaculated about ten years ago

And I'm sure there are others that I blocked.

It's time to share.



 
wow these stories  {#Sad}   {#Hug}

i wish i knew what to say


meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 4:30am

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

Sexually assaulted twice in my twenties. Once by a gynecologist. Once by a now-prominent attorney.

Harassed continually when working as a waitress in high school and college. Relentlessly.

Manhandled once by a navy recruit I was dating. The last I saw of him, too.

It's been super fun. Y'all should try it.

And all this news has me filled with rage. Actual, nauseating rage.

 
 

Molested by an attorney at 11 ~ a politically important man in my town. I acted like nothing had happened (hung out with the family etc.) for a few years, finally disclosed, and That's when the shit hit the fan. Was called every name possible and spat on regularly throughout HS. Lots of boys wanted to hang out with me bc they believed me to be experienced.

"kissed" (literal tongue down throat) by a boss in college

date raped in college

Assaulted by a gynecologist in college

Turned around on a subway platform to watch as a man ejaculated about ten years ago

And I'm sure there are others that I blocked.

It's time to share.




miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 3:57am

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

And I feel horrible for all the women whose perps aren't famous enough to get anyone to take notice.
 
But I will confess to a little bit of schadenfreude over some people getting taken down several notches. 

 
i feel for those women and men too

we haven't even touched on that

i've got a handful of juicy stuff stories to share

oh yeah your penance:

10 hail marys, 8 our fathers, only 2 slices of pie per day and nurse a sixer of brown shugga over the thanksgiving weekend

edit: please check out the daily with michael barbaro today 11/21 very timely


kcar

kcar Avatar



Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 12:05am

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

Sexually assaulted twice in my twenties. Once by a gynecologist. Once by a now-prominent attorney.

Harassed continually when working as a waitress in high school and college. Relentlessly.

Manhandled once by a navy recruit I was dating. The last I saw of him, too.

It's been super fun. Y'all should try it.

And all this news has me filled with rage. Actual, nauseating rage.

 

It's filled me with disgust and some rage too—and I'm a guy. I had no idea that women had to put up with so much crap from men. How and when did the world let these guys think it was OK to do this stuff? This isn't a "Mad Men" world anymore. I thought we were over this kind of behavior. 

It's crazy when you find out that men who should have known better didn't. Charlie Rose?!!? It'll be interesting to see if Al Franken survives the news about him. 
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 8:38pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

And I feel horrible for all the women whose perps aren't famous enough to get anyone to take notice.
 
But I will confess to a little bit of schadenfreude over some people getting taken down several notches. 

 
 Me too. 
BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: planting flowers


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 7:53pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

And I feel horrible for all the women whose perps aren't famous enough to get anyone to take notice.
 
But I will confess to a little bit of schadenfreude over some people getting taken down several notches. 

 
Sexually assaulted twice in my twenties. Once by a gynecologist. Once by a now-prominent attorney.

Harassed continually when working as a waitress in high school and college. Relentlessly.

Manhandled once by a navy recruit I was dating. The last I saw of him, too.

It's been super fun. Y'all should try it.

And all this news has me filled with rage. Actual, nauseating rage.
ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 7:48pm

 Alexandra wrote:

That was my first thought too...but then it dawned on me - it's making some terrified/haunted/shut down people finally courageous enough to say "you know what? This f-cking happened to me too with so-and-so, got dammit."
Being silent for so long is so soul crushing. Anyone who's been abused in any way on any level knows this - to the core.
 
And I feel horrible for all the women whose perps aren't famous enough to get anyone to take notice.
 
But I will confess to a little bit of schadenfreude over some people getting taken down several notches. 
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 5:35pm

 miamizsun wrote:

charlie rose?

this is getting strange
 
That was my first thought too...but then it dawned on me - it's making some terrified/haunted/shut down people finally courageous enough to say "you know what? This f-cking happened to me too with so-and-so, got dammit."
Being silent for so long is so soul crushing. Anyone who's been abused in any way on any level knows this - to the core.


ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 3:52pm

 meower wrote: 
"I have behaved insensitively at times" 
 


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 3:19pm

 meower wrote: 
charlie rose?

this is getting strange

meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 2:51pm

http://m.tmz.com/#2017/11/20/charlie-rose-accused-of-sexual-harassment-apology/

Charlie Rose
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 10:48am

 Proclivities wrote:

He's always seemed a little dodgy and arrogant to me too, and I never thought he was very funny.  To me, he was just another one of those hacks that eventually showed up on every TV show from the 1970s and '80s, plus, he was featured in a prolonged Phil Collins music video.  Power corrupts.

 




He was hilarious on Arrested Development.
Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 20, 2017 - 10:43am

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

I've never been able to watch anything he's been in because dammit I knew it. I really did. Always struck me as a creepy SOB. It got worse several years ago when a local prof who reminds me of him got nabbed for raping boys. 
  
We have that guy's dog now. That gives me some knife-twisting pleasure. 

 
He's always seemed a little dodgy and arrogant to me too, and I never thought he was very funny.  To me, he was just another one of those hacks that eventually showed up on every TV show from the 1970s and '80s, plus, he was featured in a prolonged Phil Collins music video.  Power corrupts.


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