zactly.... my last emotional disaster has lead me to the conclusion that avoidance of all but superficial relationships in the romance dept is the only way
Interesting. Odd that the focus of the interviews was primarily 20 somethings, as even at our advanced ages, I've seen it and am familiar with it ...
The act speaks of an emotionally immature individual, IMO. Unable or unwilling to enunciate reality or their true feelings, they chose to go dark instead. And then when they inevitably bump into (or are suddenly in close quarters with for hours) the person they ghosted ... it's awkward. Can't imagine how stressed they may feel in that situation - a situation they caused. See also when a friend becomes an acquaintance.Because I might be familiar with that, and such.
Yes, interesting. Growing up, the wisdom imparted to me early on by people my present age was that one would only have about 3 to 5 or so real long term or permanent friends in life. And that you were doing well if that was the case.
Communication in the form I / we of our age grew up with is basically dead. No more snail mail letter writing; cursive is dead. Everything is now 15 second sound bites and abbreviated texting. Attention spans are reduced to nothing meaningful. Loyalty and patience have been replaced by convenience and instant gratification.
Litmus tests are now more than ever the building blocks of social relationships. Differences are eliminated in the process and in the end, you end up with yourself. Now what ? The skills of dealing with now what ? are dead. They are not allowed to be taught anymore. Articulation of thought is only allowed using certain approved words or phrases. Mumbles something about political correctness ...
Being an individual is discouraged. You're not "something" unless you're part of something. That drives insecure people to keep bouncing around, not learning to deal with being alone with themselves, becoming secure and thus perpetuating aimless wandering and codependency, seeking out enablers.
Expecting resolution of everything is impossible, especially in relationships. One of the reasons its hard to maintain one. We hardly ever know the real reasons a meaningful relationship ends. Communication is the first thing to go. So the imagination takes over in the quest for resolution of an unrequited ending. Easier to ignore than deal with the imagination. That usually leads to hurt. Social media seems to be the perfect storm for exploiting this.
Is misery enjoys company now the ultimate expression of convenience in the modern 5 minute relationship ? I dunno.
For some, I can totally understand the need to cut communication completely off—-in order to be able to emotionally move on. For others, they are able to move on but still have the occasional "how are you doing" communications because they have let go with love and no attachments.
I think it all depends on how bad the breakup was, how evolved the people are, and how strong the bond of love was.
But I have to disagree with the writer of the article using the word "victim" of ghosting. I honestly don't think a person does it on purpose to hurt the ex.
precisely.
