Coaxial wrote: 
Too late, I saw it. The secret is to have no expectations.

 hippiechick wrote: 

no. i don't. not when i didn't give him my address.

 Coaxial wrote: 
Yeah, don't you watch the movies?

Love in the movies always comes with stalking, flowers, lying, cheating, and tricking.

 lily34 wrote: 
Better than getting a dead kitten mailed to you by someone met online that I never gave my last name or address to because even online I could she was quite a bit "off"

 hippiechick wrote: 

Stalking?

 lily34 wrote: 
Remember when that used to be considered romantic?

 Yibbyl wrote:  that's exactly what i did after that situation happened. (i'm not dating anymore. and this was years ago, as i said).

the situation was this: i didn't realize he followed me home. i waited until i saw him pull out of the parking lot before i drove anywhere. still...
the next day after work, i found flowers and a note on my doorstep. and where i was living at the time was in a carriage house on an estate, not easy to find, certainly not without being told....so i knew he followed me somehow.

i did not like it, told him so when he contacted me again, and threatened to call the police the next time he decided to contact me.

 lily34 wrote: 
You may even want to take this a step further and arrange to meet a friend at a very public place after your e-harmony meetup.  That way, if the person follows you, they won't be shown the way to your house/apt.

 kysmet wrote: 

always check in with a friend when you meet the person (via text or whatever) and when you leave, and when you get home.

i had a situation once where someone followed me home (well over 12 yrs ago). i did all the precautions i just stated, but still - i did not like that one bit.

 hippiechick wrote: 


Good advice :D

 DaveInVA wrote: 
I have to say that I met the man I am living with now on a dating site based on Meyers-Briggs, and we have known each other for 5 yrs. Or relationship is more like a friendship, but he is the most wonderful friend a person could ever have.

I had an SSSS relationship with one guy from Match for about a year (sporadic, supper, Sopranos, sex).

I met one guy from OK Cupid who was looking for someone to eat dinner with when he came to town, and he ended up moving to Chi and we still talk every once in awhile.

So, you can meet nice people. Don't judge a man by his cover. In other words, don't turn someone down if he is not your ideal. The perfect man may be in an imperfect container.

 hippiechick wrote: 

I don't really see how.

Even though I've met some nice people via online dating I have to say my overall experiences have been negative. I've tried most the usual suspects starting back around '97 or so. eHarmony really sucked for me. In 6 months they online found me 1 match and even she was over 2 hours away from me. When I contacted her she was angry because she had quit eHarmony months before and yet they were still giving out her info to guys. I found out later that at the time eHarmony has something like a 12 to 1 guy to chick ratio and were having a hard time getting ladies to join. They ended up giving me an extra 3 months free but was still worthless as I got no other matches.
I've had my best luck in Forums (not this one, at least not yet) and my last girl friend I met at a similar forum and we moved in together for a while but it didn't ultimately go anywhere.
After that I tried setting up a Yahell group for singles in the area but predictably it attracted mostly men and people looking for swinging and adult parties etc. I deleted the group when I was the only one that showed up to the groups first real life meeting at a local restaurant after about 20 people said they were going.
I finally gave up and literally haven't been on a real date in 5 years now. I am not into casual or bars etc and it seemed most of the ladies I met online only wanted casual or "virtual only". I gave up after realizing I was wasting countless hours getting to know ladies online only to find out after weeks or months they were married or otherwise attached or just looking for online only stuff. I also found it was one of the main things feeding a bad depression I was going through. Of course the health and financial problems also don't help much.

 Jimi_the_Saint wrote: 
Uh, your enthusiasm could be taken the wrong way.

 oldslabsides wrote: 

Swing for the fences, I say.

 oldslabsides wrote: 
Sometimes even home!

 Jimi_the_Saint wrote: 
can ya get to third base in practice?

I have done this. In my case I was already in my 50s, and at the time a little chubbier. It was very hard to put myself out there, but it's a good way to grow. Keep your expectations realistic, or, better yet, don't have any. Leave your gun at home! but always be sure that someone else knows who you are going out with. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

 Jimi_the_Saint wrote: 
*giggle*

 rosedraws wrote: 

Yeah.  Practice dates.  That has a nice, guilt-free ring to it.  I like it.