I like science and I like people and I like science people and I really like people science. Also I like head scratches and belly rubs and ice-cream overdozes. Hi-five for the lactose intolerant!!!
step 1: buy half a side of grade C beef Step 2: buy the other half, because it looks “lonely” Step 3: season both halves with a mixture of chili powder, turmeric, Laotian garlic, Mexican vanilla, powdered plantains, bison tears, and polar bear sweat salt. Step 4: allow the beef to age exactly 17 hours and 31 minutes in a darkened warehouse while reciting “The Waste Land”. Step 5: make sure the beef is not late for graduation. It’s important to get your diploma. Step 6: set an alarm for 3PM on the following Thursday. Step 7: set a second alarm at 2:59 PM on the following Thursday. You wouldn’t want to miss out on the chance to hit snooze on the first alarm. Step 8: update your CV. It’s been a while, and you never did get around to mentioning that spelling bee you won in third grade. Step 9: put the beef in an oven which you preheated to 350 a couple weeks ago. Step 10: while you wait for the beef to cook, weep bitterly about nearly every choice you’ve ever made. Step 11: add “following these instructions” to the list of choices you should weep bitterly about.
Alright, it was the 5th grade. I beat the teachers pet who was a big snobby girl named Donna and threatened to "beat my cheating little ass" over it. Talk about bitter. Also that 5th grade teacher was a sweet but tough old lady who changed my life by actually working with my Mother on spelling and the various and sundry behavioral issues keeping me at a desk in the hallway. She stopped class and put on her Yankees hat during the World Series so we could listen on the radio. Donna hated me and baseball which made the experience all the more sublime. Yankees win the pennant! There's no crying in baseball...
step 1: buy half a side of grade C beef
Step 2: buy the other half, because it looks âlonelyâ
Step 3: season both halves with a mixture of chili powder, turmeric, Laotian garlic, Mexican vanilla, powdered plantains, bison tears, and polar bear sweat salt.
Step 4: allow the beef to age exactly 17 hours and 31 minutes in a darkened warehouse while reciting âThe Waste Landâ.
Step 5: make sure the beef is not late for graduation. Itâs important to get your diploma.
Step 6: set an alarm for 3PM on the following Thursday.
Step 7: set a second alarm at 2:59 PM on the following Thursday. You wouldnât want to miss out on the chance to hit snooze on the first alarm.
Step 8: update your CV. Itâs been a while, and you never did get around to mentioning that spelling bee you won in third grade.
Step 9: put the beef in an oven which you preheated to 350 a couple weeks ago.
Step 10: while you wait for the beef to cook, weep bitterly about nearly every choice youâve ever made.
Step 11: add âfollowing these instructionsâ to the list of choices you should weep bitterly about.
