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Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 9:10pm

 bokey wrote:

I don't know to respond here Bro.You and others have responded to me with kindness quite often.

Couldn't we have not done the same for him?

Did we fail,or could we not have tried to help?

 
 
 
Bokey, there's such a difference between how you established yourself here and how he did.
 
You didn't come waltzing in (and I don't care how long he had been posting - he was not really a "regular" until last year), acting WAY too familiar with people, like you'd known them forever, making borderline creepy/threatening comments and then either putting an emoticon after them, as if that would make it better, or deleting them because you knew how over the line they were.
 
You established a place for yourself, became one of RP's renowned baseball fans, had honest conversations about your life, and acted with humility most of the time. If you ever lashed out, you apologized later. You kept it real.
 
That guy.....he came in with an attitude up to here; an air of entitlement, if you will, butting into conversations with his two cents like he owned the place (some of which left people scratching their heads, all WTF was that?) He lost me the day he told this piece of his history about being bullied in the past, and what he did about it. In so many words, he said he "systematically hunted down" those who bullied him, and beat the crap out of them. He said something like sometimes violence was necessary. Whether any of it was true or not, who knows (or cares) but it was downright sociopathic-sounding. And when I spoke up about how creepy I thought that was, in addition to some other comments he'd made that were demeaning to women.....he went off on me.
 
And that condescending way he'd deal with people who called him out? "Think about it for awhile....maybe it will come to you. Or not." That's where it was hard to ever take him seriously again. His insults reminded me of preschoolers (You're dumb. You're stupid. I'm going home!), no offense to preschoolers who haven't learned any better yet. He was trying to be so mean, but they just made me laugh they were so juvenile.
 
So if mutepoint wants us to stay away from labels, fine. But his behavior was trollish - always looking to start fights or prove someone deficient or bestow some kind of pardon on people like he was the effing king of the land ("I like you, so I'll let this one slide...")
 
As far as I'm concerned, help is not what he wanted. People dealt with him reasonably, but he wasn't having any of it. His behavior was textbook "acting out" to stir up what was probably something very familiar in his life.
 
 
I'm with buzz. We don't need that kind of toxic here. Behaviors like that have driven lots of people I love away from here - when it is supposed to be about the music. BillG should not have to put up with shit like that - he's got better things to do with his time by making all this possible for us. Our friendships and unions are an amazing byproduct of that.
 
And I'd like to think I'm a pretty compassionate person - maybe not anywhere near the Dalai Lama (or oldviolin), but I'm trying daily - but I've got limits.
 


oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 8:31pm

 mutepoint wrote:

While your prose is sometimes impenetrable, you have well-placed fans.  You're probably not aware of it, but I've heard many good things said about you by someone I've had several long conversations with.  So there's that.  

 
Thank you sir. If I'm worthy of praise, let it be for the love of my fellow man, because I know the author of that love personally.{#Cheers}{#Good-vibes}
buzz

buzz Avatar

Location: up the boohai


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 8:07pm

I was one of the people that used the word "troll". He was a troll. He was here for no other reason than to cause problems. He was not here to make friends, He was not here to be part of the community. He was here to prove he could do anything he wished and pay no consequence. He was a bully. I don't care about his problems. I care about his actions. I have seen too many good people leave here because of trolls like that. Fuck him.


oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 8:01pm

 mutepoint wrote:

Not disagreeing with you, or the outcome on this one at all.

He crossed the line (yes, eventually mine) more than once.  And when you do that here, you've got about two options: suck it up, eat your words and apologize and back it down a notch or two; or eff off after doing the implosion thing that a few of us here excel at by helping an abuser morph into an implodey-dope just before earning the punt.

 
I get it. I really do. I always think about our friend Zipper's tag line. Fits perfectly. I'm probably the most imperfect person you'll maybe never meet, but I'm a damned good coach. I've seen the future clearly and I'm not giving up on the alternate path no matter what version of hell offers an easier way out. There's true peace and freedom there. I know it as sure as I know anything. I believe in the Gypsymen of the world infinitely more than they believe in themselves. I am not afraid of failure.


oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:37pm

 bokey wrote:

OK-Let's agree to disagree.I've got no beef with you.OK?

He was obviously fucked up.Can you haved fixed him,or could have I?

I'm not trying to save the world,nor should you.

I'm just saying we could all try to be better.

No insults,rudeness or ill thoughts meant towards you,OK?

 Because I consider you a friend.

Now let's take a corner moment.

 
You and I have absolutely no problem whatsoever, disagreements or not. And I am trying to save the world; one reflection of myself at a time.
We are all here for a reason. Gypsyman too. He wanted to burn it down, throw it away. It pleased him to do so. I asked him, in my verbose and convoluted way to reconsider. He chose to ignore me. He chose to ignore BillG. He chose to ignore what could have been an opportunity to heal himself and his anger.  None of us chose that for him, did we? In fact, the large majority chose to ignore him altogether. I rather wish he had cared enough about RP to make his case without hatefullness, but he chose his own selfish way, for his own selfish reasons. Hate is not logical, and it is always destructive.
Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:27pm

 bokey wrote:

OK-Let's agree to disagree.I've got no beef with you.OK?

He was obviously fucked up.Can you haved fixed him,or could have I?

I'm not trying to save the world,nor should you.

I'm just saying we could all try to be better.

No insults,rudeness or ill thoughts meant towards you,OK?

 Because I consider you a friend.

Now let's take a corner moment.

 
{#Group-hug}
bokey

bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:25pm

 oldviolin wrote:

Define help. . . You want to let him go on with the unwarranted forum hijack unchecked? Disagreement is one thing. Good. Get it out. We all have our stories and pain. You want for me to unload mine? You want to be the blame? I don't think so. Yeah, the guy has some issues. He has a lot of hate in him to spend. The line for personal attacks has to be drawn somewhere, doesn't it? How many times does it need to be Radio Paradise that's to blame? I'm not calling him anything but out for trying to kill the goose that layed the golden egg, and get some self satisfaction in the bargain. I tend to respond to respect. The other stuff, not so much. .

 
OK-Let's agree to disagree. I've got no beef with you. OK?

He was obviously fucked up. Can you haved fixed him, or could have I?

I'm not trying to save the world, nor should you.

I'm just saying we could all try to be better.

No insults, rudeness or ill thoughts meant towards you, OK?

 Because I consider you a friend.

Now let's take a corner moment.


MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:22pm

 bokey wrote:

I don't know to respond here Bro.You and others have responded to me with kindness quite often.

Couldn't we have not done the same for him?

Did we fail,or could we not have tried to help?

 I dunno.

Anyway,I'm beat and can no longer offer anything intelligible to this matter.

 
Some of us tried, truly.
Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:20pm

 JrzyTmata wrote:

I won't lose any sleep over him.

 
Yeah, no, me neither.


JrzyTmata

JrzyTmata Avatar



Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:17pm

 :Coaxial wrote:

You do have a fever.{#Lol}

 
I won't lose any sleep over him.
Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:15pm

 JrzyTmata wrote:

but dad! he really loves us and deep down he's such a great guy. He doesn't really mean it. really! maybe we asked for it.besides, it's just a few bruises. we shouldn't push his buttons like we do. it's our fault. we can change him!!! we know we can!

 
You do have a fever.{#Lol}
JrzyTmata

JrzyTmata Avatar



Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:11pm

 oldviolin wrote:

Define help...You want to let him go on with the unwarranted forum hijack unchecked? Disagreement is one thing. Good. Get it out. We all have our stories and pain. You want for me to unload mine? You want to be the blame? I don't think so. Yeah, the guy has some issues. He has a lot of hate in him to spend. The line for personal attacks has to be drawn somewhere, doesn't it? How many times does it need to be Radio Paradise that's to blame? I'm not calling him anything but out for trying to kill the goose that layed the golden egg, and get some self satisfaction in the bargain. I tend to respond to respect. The other stuff, not so much..

 
but dad! he really loves us and deep down he's such a great guy. He doesn't really mean it. really! maybe we asked for it.besides, it's just a few bruises. we shouldn't push his buttons like we do. it's our fault. we can change him!!! we know we can!


oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 7:06pm

 bokey wrote:

I don't know to respond here Bro.You and others have responded to me with kindness quite often.

Couldn't we have not done the same for him?

Did we fail,or could we not have tried to help?

 I dunno.

Anyway,I'm beat and can no longer offer anything intelligible to this matter.

 
Define help...You want to let him go on with the unwarranted forum hijack unchecked? Disagreement is one thing. Good. Get it out. We all have our stories and pain. You want for me to unload mine? You want to be the blame? I don't think so. Yeah, the guy has some issues. He has a lot of hate in him to spend. The line for personal attacks has to be drawn somewhere, doesn't it? How many times does it need to be Radio Paradise that's to blame? I'm not calling him anything but out for trying to kill the goose that layed the golden egg, and get some self satisfaction in the bargain. I tend to respond positively to respect. The other stuff, not so much. Call it compassion. Pity is a cop-out.


Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:58pm

 MsJudi wrote:

Dang, and I was just gonna post that it's my turn to go 'round the bend and fall off Troll Mountain into Troll Valley, where I would become Queen Troll. Can I? Pretty please?

 
Help yourself.{#Meditate}
bokey

bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:52pm

 oldviolin wrote:

I as much as attempted to open those very wounds. I don't like the "talk behind their backs" outside of that zany thread itself. This member had a history with some folks here and felt for some reason that somebody needed to pay for his bad experiences here and in the real. I think that's a well worn trail here abouts. Still, without somehow moralizing about it, sometimes a person has to accept their part in the breakdown. As long as it's someone else at fault it's a missed opportunity to shed an excuse to expand personal growth. .

 
I don't know to respond here Bro. You and others have responded to me with kindness quite often.

Couldn't we have not done the same for him?

Did we fail, or could we not have tried to help?

 I dunno.

Anyway, I'm beat and can no longer offer anything intelligible to this matter.
MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:52pm

 Coaxial wrote:
I got nothin'...I just like it when the RAFT reads Trolls at RP—Coaxial.{#War}

 
Dang, and I was just gonna post that it's my turn to go 'round the bend and fall off Troll Mountain into Troll Valley, where I would become Queen Troll. Can I? Pretty please?
BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: Заебани сме луѓе


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:43pm

 Red_Dragon wrote:

so that whole running with scissors thing is just an anecdote?

 
Nope.
Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:39pm

I got nothin'...I just like it when the RAFT reads Trolls at RP—Coaxial.{#War}
oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:38pm

 bokey wrote:

Gotta love that fact.
Just cut him a break.He's obviously in pain.

 
I as much as attempted to open those very wounds. I don't much like the "talk behind their backs" outside of that zany thread itself. This member had a history with some folks here and felt for some reason that somebody needed to pay for his bad experiences here and in the real. I think that's a well worn trail here abouts. Still, without somehow moralizing about it, sometimes a person has to accept their part in the breakdown. As long as it's someone else at fault it's a missed opportunity to shed an excuse to expand personal growth..


Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Feb 3, 2014 - 6:31pm

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

What. "Drive real fast and take lots of chances" is my family's motto and it's served us well!

 
so that whole running with scissors thing is just an anecdote?
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