So I was at the grocery store getting some spinach and a pork chop and the checker girl and bag boy are having what you can tell is a running conversation about movies etc. and he's doing a pretty good job imitating some character that I recognize but can't place and she's egging him on and then says "Ooh have you seen 'Lightyear'?" and he gets serious and says "Don't go see that!" She says "why?" and he says because there's a — l e s b i a n kiss in it. She says "why? question mark?" he says you shouldn't go. Why question mark question mark and he says well kids shouldn't go —they're trying to recruit— because no kids movie should have— a and you well

At this point it's clear he's equal parts afraid she's gay and so won't go out with him and also hoping she is because Beavis. She cocks her head again and he says a word or two like "influence" and "convert" or something and she's all wide-eyed like he thought if she saw two cartoon girls kissing she'd turn lesbian and here's where I did not say "If watching movie people kiss could change your gender identity, you'd be straight!"