My dog's sweater doesn't fit right.

 winter wrote: 
Manbird wrote: 
I ain't payin' no dam dollah fiddy for no bland ass bun.

 

 Manbird wrote: 



You know what's the biggest, most hobo-infested Firat World problem of all? You and your horseshoes.

This cinnamon bun is kind of bland, and I paid a dollar fifty for it.

 winter wrote: 
THAT'S RACIST! STAVERY WAS ABOLISHED 461 YEARS AGO!! YOU'RE A RACIST, YOU DESPOTTY!

I have this list of cool stuff I want to do before dying at a ripe old age, and I worry that I'll only get to accomplish some of them while not staving off disease, famine, and despotism.

My walk-in is absolutely stuffed with hundreds and Warhols, so WHERE  am I going to put all these new Krugerrands? I think I'll go look at my Picassos.        Oh Geeves!

 bokey wrote: 
The unshelled ones aren't as tasty and the shells get stuck between your teeth. Don't you have someone to shell them for you?

 bokey wrote: 
There, there my friend.

I'm tired and don't want to go out and get pistachio baklava or ice cream, so I'm going to stay home and just tough it out with the basics like the pioneers did.
Dammit, I can't decide between shelled or unshelled roasted and salted pistachios.

My handy man won't rake the leaves until tomorrow because today is his birthday.

Who does he think he is?

 DaveInVA wrote: 
I do that too, as well as shredding them with my blower/shredder and then spread them on the veggie and flower beds.

My guitar won't stay in tune. Grrrrr. That's it, i'm ending it all, had enough.

 Antigone wrote: 
I just put a mulching blade on the mower and ran them all over while cutting the grass....

My neighbor's leaf blower is annoying me. It's making me feel guilty for not being out there raking leaves myself.

This salmon risotto is too salty.

I spend too much time bitching on the internet.

My TV is too small.

Also my wallet is too small for all these hundreds, and my diamond shoes are too tight.

I had to reboot the Roku to get it to load and so I missed that Cheap Trick song I like.

 Antigone wrote: 

that being the important word.