It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

This part is too rich to let go by:

McKinney tracked him down to Surrey, England. With the help of an accomplice, she held him up with a toy pistol, used chloroform on him and drove him 200 miles to a honeymoon cottage in southeast England, chained him to a bed using mink-lined handcuffs, and for two days read him the Bible while trying to persuade him to marry her.

That didn't work, so she and her accomplice tied him spread-eagled on the bed and she assaulted him three times.

So it's either the Bible, or I screw your brains out.

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

You want scary, how about the gnome-lady from yesterday's news?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

So it's either the Bible, or I screw your brains out.

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

theres a rumor in the neighborhood that the gnome is really her illegitimate son. remember that "vacation" she took when she was 15?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

You want scary, how about the gnome-lady from yesterday's news?

Nice shot of Nancy and Ronald Reagan.

You want scary, how about the gnome-lady from yesterday's news?

Only Cackalackians are allowed to call it Cackalacky. ;)
Scary broad.

Only Cackalackians are allowed to call it Cackalacky.  ;)
Scary broad. 

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

its not often that you see cackalacky, mormon and booger in the same paragraph.

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?