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Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Nov 19, 2008 - 4:33am

Plaintiff's attorney: What doctor treated you for the injuries you sustained while at work?

Plaintiff: Doctor Johnson.

Plaintiff's attorney: And, what kind of physician is Doctor Johnson?

Plaintiff:  Well, I'm not sure, but I fo remember that you said he was a good plaintiff's doctor.
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Nov 19, 2008 - 4:29am

I'm sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now.  She's looking like a rock scientist.

~ Tara Ried
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Nov 19, 2008 - 4:27am

PEE SHOES

~ sign in a shoe store in India
Alafia

Alafia Avatar

Location: the dojo
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 17, 2008 - 8:17am

 ed wrote:
I started with nothing and I still have most of it.

 
Reminds me of:

"Well they say that money talks, and I know it ain't no lie,
'cause every time I get some, it tells me goodbye..."

Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Nov 7, 2008 - 7:50pm

The German Nazis and the Russian Communists came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just round the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power.
cc_rider

cc_rider Avatar

Location: Bastrop
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 8:20am

 oldviolin wrote:
/confusing ramble
 
Thanks OV. Sometimes I think I'm the only one...

c.

maryte

maryte Avatar

Location: Blinding You With Library Science!
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 8:13am

 maryte wrote:
"At the moment that we persuade a child, any child, to cross that threshold, that magic threshold into a library, we change their lives forever, for the better. It's an enormous force for good." - Senator (and now President-Elect) Barack Obama, D-IL

 

Generally, books don't judge, and if one does, it can always be put down in exchange for one that does not.  When everything and everyone in the "real world" didn't understand me, I could always find someplace that did.
samiyam

samiyam Avatar

Location: Moving North


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 8:10am

 smokinsean wrote: 
"There were times when I had "jock itch" when I would go hours not touching it, so that when I finally put my hands down there to scratch it felt so damned good I almost passed out."
 ~ Bill Cosby ~


samiyam

samiyam Avatar

Location: Moving North


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 8:07am

 oldviolin wrote:


In the truth of hindsight, it was probably my way out of myself and into a world of saving imagination. We would line up and walk down various halls to that magic place, where I usually had the reference area to myself. I would pour over maps and art and history and every encyclopedia set I could get my hands on. I would spend time with a huge globe and solar system model and read about space and ships and oceans full of fascinating creatures. I read about sharks and graphic accounts of shark attacks long before they became the horror plot for a movie. Somehow, that resonated with me to the world outside, where the war was on our black and white TV
every night. You know, the war in Viet Nam, and the war in the streets and working class neighborhood of the city where I grew up in the racially divisive 60's.

 
Oh, c'mon... tell me you didn't notice the pudgy boy in the corner working his way through the EB volume by volume? 

The bittersweet for me is realizing that there's some mis-understood kid, even today, walking into a library and finding reason to live.

oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 7:26am

 maryte wrote:
"At the moment that we persuade a child, any child, to cross that threshold, that magic threshold into a library, we change their lives forever, for the better. It's an enormous force for good." - Senator (and now President-Elect) Barack Obama, D-IL

 

In the truth of hindsight, it was probably my way out of myself and into a world of saving imagination. We would line up and walk down various halls to that magic place, where I usually had the reference area to myself. I would pour over maps and art and history and every encyclopedia set I could get my hands on. I would spend time with a huge globe and solar system model and read about space and ships and oceans full of fascinating creatures. I read about sharks and graphic accounts of shark attacks long before they became the horror plot for a movie. Somehow, that resonated with me to the world outside, where the war was on our black and white TV
every night. You know, the war in Viet Nam, and the war in the streets and working class neighborhood of the city where I grew up in the racially divisive 60's.

Sorry...I'm feeling quite meloncholy these days." Lives changed for the better" is a subjective statement at best. It is an enormous force for good, and By God I am thankful for it. ..But out there...in the ethos...where chickens come home to roost, a child has grown older far quicker than he has grown to understand the "jigsaw puzzle falling apart."

My story is mine alone, I'm well aware of this. Still, I can remember like it was yesterday that I became aware of things that I simply could not process... like feelings of humiliation and fear and useless self worth and incredible hatred and bigotry. And I'm a certified caucasian for crying out loud! The world...that's where I learned to die.
Fortunately, the library is where I first learned to live, and that much of what I was learning out there in the world was a lie.
 Doesn't matter now for me I suppose. I've been blessed with a sense of emotional engineering, helping from the inside out to cope and relate with some sense of dignity that which will tear a child...and a tree, apart, limb from limb.

I have no great achievement in this world to point to, and time goes by oh so fast. Vicariously, the library of my youth kept open the possibilities for connections that otherwise were being ripped apart. It is no different for kids today, or for me either for that matter...It made a difference that I cannot measure.

/confusing ramble


duchamp

duchamp Avatar

Location: Florida Panhandle
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 5:57am

Southern_Boy wrote:

I'm sure I deserved it. I was a real wise ass, if you can believe that.

Nooooo, surely not true.


Southern_Boy

Southern_Boy Avatar

Location: On my way to the beach
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 5:56am

 duchamp wrote:
... be sweet, now.
 
I'm sure I deserved it. I was a real wise ass, if you can believe that.

duchamp

duchamp Avatar

Location: Florida Panhandle
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 5:54am

Southern_Boy wrote:

I remember mine too. I got yelled at by the witch behind the counter and never went back.
... be sweet, now.

Southern_Boy

Southern_Boy Avatar

Location: On my way to the beach
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 5:52am

 duchamp wrote:

I remember my first trip to the library, selecting a Dr. Seuss book, and signing/printing my name to the card. It was magic!

 
I remember mine too. I got yelled at by the witch behind the counter and never went back.

duchamp

duchamp Avatar

Location: Florida Panhandle
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 5:50am

maryte wrote:
"At the moment that we persuade a child, any child, to cross that threshold, that magic threshold into a library, we change their lives forever, for the better. It's an enormous force for good." - Senator (and now President-Elect) Barack Obama, D-IL


I remember my first trip to the library, selecting a Dr. Seuss book, and signing/printing my name to the card. It was magic!


maryte

maryte Avatar

Location: Blinding You With Library Science!
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 6, 2008 - 5:45am

"At the moment that we persuade a child, any child, to cross that threshold, that magic threshold into a library, we change their lives forever, for the better. It's an enormous force for good." - Senator (and now President-Elect) Barack Obama, D-IL


Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: ? ? ?
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 5, 2008 - 4:08pm

 oldslabsides wrote:
Tourist at the duty-free store in Windsor, Ontario:  How far is it to Toronto from here?

Store clerk: About four hours.

Tourist: Is that in U.S. or Canadian hours?
 
so which is it? because the imperial hour is like 6 minutes longer and it would add up after about 4 hours.
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Nov 5, 2008 - 4:03pm

Tourist at the duty-free store in Windsor, Ontario:  How far is it to Toronto from here?

Store clerk: About four hours.

Tourist: Is that in U.S. or Canadian hours?

Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Dumbf*ckistan


Posted: Nov 5, 2008 - 4:00pm

There is no capital of Uraguay, you dummy - it's a country!

~ actor Lorenzo Lamas, to Daily Show host Jon Stewart
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