A new one:

"The more I think about it the more this election day feels like one giant collective, global puke. That Bush-Cheney thing never quite settled with us, did it? We'll feel a lot better but a lot more tired once the last heave is over."

- Andrew Sullivan
I can relate.

 "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

-Drew Carey

"A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy? "-Albert Einstein

"Pass the stinkin` potatoes."

What for you bury me in the cold, cold ground?

Roland looked up and saw Susan sitting in her window, a bright vision in the gray light of that fall morning. His heart leaped up and although he didn't know it then, it was how he would remember her most clearly forever after —- lovely Susan, the girl at the window. So do we pass the ghosts that haunt us later in our lives; they sit undramatically by the roadside like poor beggars, and we see them only from the corners of our eyes, if we see them at all. The idea that they have been waiting there for us rarely if ever crosses our minds. Yet they do wait, and when we have passed, they gather up their bundles of memory and fall in behind, treading in our footsteps and catching up, little by little.

S. King-Wizard and glass

If you insist upon fighting to protect me, or 'our' country, let it be understood soberly and rationally between us that you are fighting to gratify a sex instinct which I cannot share; to procure benefits where I have not shared and probably will not share.
Virginia Woolf

For Trek:

Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.

George S. Halas

"There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."

-Scott Adams

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

— Steven Wright

"If prostitution is illegal, why is congress still operating?...we, the taxpayers, put up the money and they screw us."

- Anon.

"A honest politician is like a virgin prosititute.
If it exists, it doesn't last for long."
                                                - the_jake

Al Franken on the Minnesota Senate race:  "I'm the only New York Jew in this race who actually grew up in Minnesota."

MonkeyPod wrote:

Think, 'Everything is right with me.  Everything is right with my environment.'  By thinking that something is wrong with you, you became unwell.  Your environment is your palace.  Just as we say that the body is the temple for the soul, in the same way your home, your environment is your palace.   -Tibetan monk.

Bill Maher:  "America is a country, now it is two Americas, there's like a progressive European nation that a lot of us live in or would like to live in and it's being strangled by the Sarah Palins of the world.  It can't quite be born because this other stupid Redneck nation won't allow it."

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Powerful Women's  Motto:

Live your life in such a way that
when your feet hit the floor in the  morning,
Satan shudders & says...
'Oh shit....she's awake!!''

"Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder"

Anonymous

Lawyer: Now, doctor, which way would someone fall after receiving a twelve-gauge shotgun blast directly in the chest?

Witness: Down.

~ actual courtroom testimony