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Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » Caretakers Of Our Parents Page: Previous  1, 2, 3 ... , 51, 52, 53  Next
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Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 5:44pm

And here's the thing about dementia (no matter what degree someone has it)....

Take the usual parts of a person's personality that was ALWAYS a PITA, and magnify it 5000x.   My mom was a control freak. She had to know everything that was going on, she had to know why every object was lying around the house and whose was it and when were they going to move it.....and she always had to be right.  Can you imagine those things, with dementia thrown into the mix??

GAH x 5000!!!


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 5:41pm

 bokey wrote:

A parent telling their child that isn't funny at all, and it is psychologically devastating on top of all the other stress.
 


Right. Sometimes (unless they all share the same sense of humor) When my grandmother was a young mother, her father—who was dying of cancer and suffering greatly—begged her to take his gun and shoot him. It did a number on her.

Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 5:39pm

 JustJanis wrote:


Want me to come clean your house for you??   {#Roflol} <—- me

If the day comes where my kids have to change my diapers, that's the day they have permission to use the big pillow on me...

 

And it's legal in Oregon. {#Yes}  Well, maybe not the big pillow, but......you know what I mean.

bokey

bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 5:35pm

 JustJanis wrote:


Want me to come clean your house for you? ?

If the day comes where my kids have to change my diapers, that's the day they have permission to use the big pillow on me. . .

 
A parent telling their child that isn't funny at all, and it is psychologically devastating on top of all the other stress.

JustJanis

JustJanis Avatar

Location: The Pacific Northwest Baby!!!!
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 5:33pm

 Alexandra wrote:

Never in my life have I experienced something so mindf*cking, but at the same time so monumentally rewarding. Crazy shit.
{#Group-hug}
 

Want me to come clean your house for you??

If the day comes where my kids have to change my diapers, that's the day they have permission to use the big pillow on me...
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 3:49pm

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

Even when it's easy (as it was for me with my mother, who was compliant and financially set) it's not easy. Well, in retrospect, and after your story, yes, it was easy.
 
Except it wasn't. It never is. There's no road map for it.
 

 
Never in my life have I experienced something so mindf*cking, but at the same time so monumentally rewarding. Crazy shit.


{#Group-hug}

winter

winter Avatar

Location: in exile, as always
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 3:45pm

 MsJudi wrote:

Thank you... all fingers and toes crossed tomorrow morning!
 
Good luck. That sounds just unbelievably hard.

Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 3:43pm

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

Even when it's easy (as it was for me with my mother, who was compliant and financially set) it's not easy. Well, in retrospect, and after your story, yes, it was easy.
 
Except it wasn't. It never is. There's no road map for it.
 

 


to MsJudi et al.

BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: planting flowers


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 3:38pm

 MsJudi wrote:

Thank you... all fingers and toes crossed tomorrow morning!
 
Even when it's easy (as it was for me with my mother, who was compliant and financially set) it's not easy. Well, in retrospect, and after your story, yes, it was easy.
 
Except it wasn't. It never is. There's no road map for it.
 


MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 3:35pm

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

Late to this. Sending lots of love and good vibes.
 
Thank you... all fingers and toes crossed tomorrow morning!

MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 3:35pm

 meower wrote:


Jeees. Reminds me of the kids I work with with behavior problems.... parents getting all nervous whenever the phone rings that it's the school and then forgetit when the school wants to meet We're here for you J. Wish we could FIX it.

 
That's exactly what it feels like.

{#Kiss}

BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: planting flowers


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 2:56pm

 MsJudi wrote:

Thanks, Step (and Rose and everyone) {#Group-hug}... I don't want to hate my father, but this is making it really difficult to dispel my feelings regarding all those things about him that I ran from when I left home at 19. This guy is, essentially, a stranger to us- he had no interest in family his whole life, he spent only 13 years out of 80 married and the rest single, and I honestly think that lifestyle left him crude and unrefined. Now with the Alzheimer's on top of everything, he's utterly incapable of curbing his somewhat repulsive nature. And it was his nature that drove me all the way from PA to Texas to escape him.

I love my father. I hate my father. Yeah.
 
Late to this. Sending lots of love and good vibes.

meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 2:54pm

 MsJudi wrote:
Ok, so the call just came. We've been asked to meet management at their office at 9 am tomorrow morning. No clue what's going to happen. {#Meditate}

 

Jeees. Reminds me of the kids I work with with behavior problems.... parents getting all nervous whenever the phone rings that it's the school and then forgetit when the school wants to meet We're here for you J. Wish we could FIX it.
MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 2:52pm

 Alexandra wrote:


I'm dealing with it....but compared to their situations, I really should count my blessings. Mom is still physically capable of a lot...in perfect health....set up with caregivers when I'm not there.....and most days pretty with it.....it's just the mental torture of living in the movie Groundhog Day every day (and her stubborn quirks/delusions at times).....the stress of it started doing things to me, healthwise.
My challenge (and it can be a HUGE challenge some days) is keeping myself peaceful and non-resistant on the inside, and to embrace wellbeing as often as possible. I need to keep myself "in a good place" so that my mojo will work right when this job comes along, and so I can transition west.

 
Yes and yes. {#Hug}
MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 2:50pm

Ok, so the call just came. We've been asked to meet management at their office at 9 am tomorrow morning. No clue what's going to happen. {#Meditate}
MsJudi

MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 2:49pm

 bokey wrote:
 MsJudi wrote:

I'm not waiting for his release, I'm actually worried they will make him leave and then I'm not sure what we'll do.


I know that,I was just reiterating your point of not irritating the people who deal with irritation all day and are semi-resentful.
 
{#Arrowu} {#Yes} Oh, yeah.

meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 6:45am

 mzpro5 wrote:
MsJudi & bokey

Hang in there guys.  Fortunately that is something I don't have to deal with (yet).

{#Hug}

 

  s
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 6:27am

 mzpro5 wrote:
MsJudi & bokey

Hang in there guys.  Fortunately that is something I don't have to deal with (yet).

{#Hug}

 

I'm dealing with it....but compared to their situations, I really should count my blessings. Mom is still physically capable of a lot...in perfect health....set up with caregivers when I'm not there.....and most days pretty with it.....it's just the mental torture of living in the movie Groundhog Day every day (and her stubborn quirks/delusions at times).....the stress of it started doing things to me, healthwise.


My challenge (and it can be a HUGE challenge some days) is keeping myself peaceful and non-resistant on the inside, and to embrace wellbeing as often as possible. I need to keep myself "in a good place" so that my mojo will work right when this job comes along, and so I can transition west.


mzpro5

mzpro5 Avatar

Location: Budda'spet, Hungry
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 6:24am

MsJudi & bokey

Hang in there guys.  Fortunately that is something I don't have to deal with (yet).

{#Hug}
bokey

bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 30, 2011 - 5:59am

 MsJudi wrote:

I'm not waiting for his release, I'm actually worried they will make him leave and then I'm not sure what we'll do.


I know that, I was just reiterating your point of not irritating the people who deal with irritation all day and are semi-resentful.

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