And here's the thing about dementia (no matter what degree someone has it)....

Take the usual parts of a person's personality that was ALWAYS a PITA, and magnify it 5000x.   My mom was a control freak. She had to know everything that was going on, she had to know why every object was lying around the house and whose was it and when were they going to move it.....and she always had to be right.  Can you imagine those things, with dementia thrown into the mix??

GAH x 5000!!!

 bokey wrote:

Right. Sometimes (unless they all share the same sense of humor) When my grandmother was a young mother, her father—who was dying of cancer and suffering greatly—begged her to take his gun and shoot him. It did a number on her.

 JustJanis wrote: 

And it's legal in Oregon.   Well, maybe not the big pillow, but......you know what I mean.

 JustJanis wrote: 
A parent telling their child that isn't funny at all, and it is psychologically devastating on top of all the other stress.

 Alexandra wrote: 

Want me to come clean your house for you??

If the day comes where my kids have to change my diapers, that's the day they have permission to use the big pillow on me...

 BlueHeronDruid wrote: 
Never in my life have I experienced something so mindf*cking, but at the same time so monumentally rewarding. Crazy shit.

 MsJudi wrote: 
Good luck. That sounds just unbelievably hard.

 BlueHeronDruid wrote: 


to MsJudi et al.

 MsJudi wrote: 
Even when it's easy (as it was for me with my mother, who was compliant and financially set) it's not easy. Well, in retrospect, and after your story, yes, it was easy.
 
Except it wasn't. It never is. There's no road map for it.
 

 BlueHeronDruid wrote: 
Thank you... all fingers and toes crossed tomorrow morning!

 meower wrote: 
That's exactly what it feels like.

 MsJudi wrote: 
Late to this. Sending lots of love and good vibes.

 MsJudi wrote: 

Jeees. Reminds me of the kids I work with with behavior problems.... parents getting all nervous whenever the phone rings that it's the school and then forgetit when the school wants to meet We're here for you J. Wish we could FIX it.

 Alexandra wrote: 
Yes and yes.

Ok, so the call just came. We've been asked to meet management at their office at 9 am tomorrow morning. No clue what's going to happen.

 bokey wrote: 
Oh, yeah.

 mzpro5 wrote: 

  s

 mzpro5 wrote: 

I'm dealing with it....but compared to their situations, I really should count my blessings. Mom is still physically capable of a lot...in perfect health....set up with caregivers when I'm not there.....and most days pretty with it.....it's just the mental torture of living in the movie Groundhog Day every day (and her stubborn quirks/delusions at times).....the stress of it started doing things to me, healthwise.


My challenge (and it can be a HUGE challenge some days) is keeping myself peaceful and non-resistant on the inside, and to embrace wellbeing as often as possible. I need to keep myself "in a good place" so that my mojo will work right when this job comes along, and so I can transition west.

MsJudi & bokey

Hang in there guys.  Fortunately that is something I don't have to deal with (yet).

 MsJudi wrote:
I know that, I was just reiterating your point of not irritating the people who deal with irritation all day and are semi-resentful.