RASPUTIN wrote:The other guards and I at the the joint have a bet.   Is there Anything, beyond the constant public farting, burping etc, that would shame you? I said nah, a serious felony, nah, he's too harmless. The other guys say nothing at all would shame you.  Help me win $5, please. 

Btw, your release is all up to me and you'll be on super-secret probation house detention with an ankle bracelet "chip" surgically implanted.  What did you do anyway?

EDIT: The warden said parole comes when "hell freezes over, and probation ends when it melts again". I keep telling 'em you're just a harmless knock off of the Fat Bastard charcter in the Austin Powers movies, but he's having none of it.  Hey, I did what I could.

 ScottN wrote: 

Quite frankly, no matter how many times you call yourself The Earl Of Arm Farts you'll never get in freak show for half price.

 oldslabsides wrote: 

The bad karma from arm wrestling 6 year old girls for the Ho Ho's out of their lunch boxes is gonna catch up to you some day.

You boys are so nasty!

 RASPUTIN wrote:  Does the rest of RP know that your av is really a photo of yourself?

 RASPUTIN wrote: 
The guys down at the station house all chipped in and bought you some deodorant, now if they can only convince you to use it.

 ScottN wrote: 

Putting a pair of "Joe Cool" sunglasses on that lime sized mole hanging off your nose does not qualify as a disguise.

 oldslabsides wrote:Staying on subject, have you had that hideous, puss-ridden carbuncle on the side of your neck looked at?  It's grotesque and it scares kids, and frankly I am bit concerned about it myself.  You can get help...just ask! 

 Manbird wrote: 
your monsterous man cankles have gotten you banned from public pools in six states and the d of c.

 lily34 wrote: 
I don't think that denture solution will remove tar but hey give a try - you never know. 

 oldslabsides wrote: 
It's habitual.  At least I didn't have to be bailed out for "assault with a crusty toenail".  By the way, I'd keep that side business you have going on the D/L.  I can't be sure but there has to be some ordinance that would result in a fine at the least from your "Bio-Rooter / Ferret-Prostitution" service.  And don't try to bamboozle me by noting that you provide on-site support.  If the sling-shot delivery method didn't impress me, nothing will.

 winter wrote: 

 oldslabsides wrote: 


If you could have just gotten promoted to "fry guy" at Sonic your folks would have been so proud they would have paid off your Metro.

 MusicIsMotion wrote: 

 MusicIsMotion wrote: 
You've been given your last warning by the local police to stop polishing your head to a high gloss and blinding oncoming traffic.

 oldslabsides wrote: 
I once new a man named Doris.  Oh, and are those hair plugs?  Thanks for playing.

 RASPUTIN wrote: 
You know the nurses tending you in hospital were the ones who lost the coin tosses, right?

 ScottN wrote: 


That's a cheap shot even by your standards. Uncle Bloom is famous for shooting craps in Liverpool a mere forty five minutes after jumping overboard. But if facts were of any concern to you your bio might mention your phobia for sock puppets, and licorice whips.

 winter wrote: 
You should probably belinguish your plans of hoof-style grape stomping since you will, most decidedly, always be stuck with regular feet.  If I were you, I'd go ahead and ditch that version of "Be the Centaur" as well.  What?  I don't care if the bookseller told you it was a biography. And no, I don't know a good farrier.

 winter wrote:  There is a slow moving sea slug that bears a striking resemblence to you.  Oh, you already knew that, sorry.