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aflanigan

aflanigan Avatar

Location: At Sea
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 6, 2015 - 12:01pm

 DaveInVA wrote:

 

11.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

 



 

Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Feb 6, 2015 - 10:27am

A truck full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins..............it was a turtle disaster.
DaveInSaoMiguel

DaveInSaoMiguel Avatar

Location: No longer in a hovel in effluent Damnville, VA
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 30, 2015 - 7:13am

Puns for Educated Minds


 

1.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

2.

I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

3.

She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

 

4.

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

5.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

6.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

7.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

8.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

9.

A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

 

10.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

11.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

12.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

 

13.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

14.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

 

15.

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

16.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

17.

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

18.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism it's your count that votes.

 

19.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 

20.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

 

21.

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says,

'I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

 

22.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

 

23.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

24.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?'  The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

 

25.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication.

 

 


Prodigal_SOB

Prodigal_SOB Avatar

Location: Back Home Again in Indiana
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 14, 2015 - 7:52am



haresfur

haresfur Avatar

Location: The Golden Triangle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 27, 2014 - 1:14pm

 Steve wrote:


 
{#Lol}
Steve

Steve Avatar

Location: Around My Corner... and Up Yours
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 27, 2014 - 9:40am


haresfur

haresfur Avatar

Location: The Golden Triangle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 19, 2014 - 5:06pm

 Prodigal_SOB wrote:

Of course his background is primarily in physics whereas mine is mathematics, so from my standpoint he doesn't begin to know useless calculations.

 

 
My sister is a physicist and she's plenty useless {#Roflol} (not really, she's a lovely person).
Prodigal_SOB

Prodigal_SOB Avatar

Location: Back Home Again in Indiana
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 19, 2014 - 1:40pm

 haresfur wrote:

{#Lol}

 
Of course his background is primarily in physics whereas mine is mathematics, so from my standpoint he doesn't begin to know useless calculations.

 


haresfur

haresfur Avatar

Location: The Golden Triangle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 19, 2014 - 1:10pm

 Prodigal_SOB wrote:

For some reason I got a real chuckle out of the very first line in this weeks installment.  "This is a surprisingly reasonable idea, by What If standards."  Of course by the end of the piece it had degenerated to "This is probably the most useless calculation I've ever done".

 
{#Lol}
Prodigal_SOB

Prodigal_SOB Avatar

Location: Back Home Again in Indiana
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 19, 2014 - 7:01am

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:
The XKCD comic guy has a book out now, and it arrived yesterday. I am reading it out loud, so that the kids might catch an idea or two. It's funny and challenging and not a comic strip, it's mostly text with amusing illustrations and I recommend it. As I'm reading it, I keep thinking of a young SFW reading Isaac Asimov's nonfiction stuff and laughing at his geeky humor. 

 
For some reason I got a real chuckle out of the very first line in this weeks installment.  "This is a surprisingly reasonable idea, by What If standards."  Of course by the end of the piece it had degenerated to "This is probably the most useless calculation I've ever done".
Prodigal_SOB

Prodigal_SOB Avatar

Location: Back Home Again in Indiana
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 4, 2014 - 9:12am

 kctomato wrote:


 
 Approach with caution.  I think you may have found this wanted desperado.

 
kctomato

kctomato Avatar



Posted: Dec 4, 2014 - 9:01am


Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 12, 2014 - 10:46am

A co-worker of mine always wears a mood ring.  She recently lost it and I cannot tell how she feels about that.


Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2014 - 10:20am

 NoEnzLefttoSplit wrote:

that reminds me of this one:

We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here. A neutrino walks into a bar. 

 
{#Lol}
NoEnzLefttoSplit

NoEnzLefttoSplit Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2014 - 10:06am

 Proclivities wrote:
The universe implodes!....No matter.

 
that reminds me of this one:

We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here. A neutrino walks into a bar. 
lily34

lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female


Posted: Nov 6, 2014 - 7:33am

 Proclivities wrote:
The universe implodes!....No matter.

 

Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Nov 6, 2014 - 7:04am

The universe implodes!....No matter.
ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 1, 2014 - 4:08pm

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

New or used? Digital or analog?

 
Okay
BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: Заебани сме луѓе


Posted: Oct 1, 2014 - 3:18pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

Ah, yep, hasty typo. The book wasn't too spendy and it's really nicely presented, for what it's worth.
 
I guess I'm saying it would be a nice Christmas gift for a lot of people around here. But I already got one so just send me a burrito I guess

 
New or used? Digital or analog?
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