How many questions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

...me and 'ol Larry headed out to the bridge
down off the horse trail under a ridge
There's where I spent all my .22 lead
beer cans bobbing in the burbling dread.

Larry had sharp blue eyes and a grindstone schnozz
wore a mystics stache like 
the Wizard Of Oz.
A mac 8 minigun strapped high on his thigh
made it himself in the sweet bye and bye
scattered hot lead in any direction he chose
said he don't need accuracy with a slick water hose

I knew those cans didn't stand half a chance
Like treading deep water in lead lined pants
shooting the rapids and rapidly shot
Makings of the gettin' where the gettin'gets got.

One head light, one heart heavy
Keepin' 'tween the lines in my '84 Chevy
Got a steady crackle on the AM dial
Got an open beer and half a smile

Binoculars sittin' on the vinyl dash
To scan the horizon for an alien crash
Hitchiker trussed up in the trunk
and a leather jock wrapped around my junk

.44 mag in the old glovebox
and ether soakin' in an old white sock
Ol' hound dog head out the window
Rest of the dog I ain't goin' into

holy fuck

This just in; the moon is made of green cheese after all. Which begs the question...

still begging. Check back later when it's a blue moon...bring your yellowing curiosity..

"Don't sweat the small stuff," they said. Well, that was before we all started stepping on Lego blocks in the middle of the night.

The final straw will be when we get sick of our own sickness and collapse in piles of weeping, shuddering protoplasm.

Lolol. And here I believed that silly rabbit when he said Trix was for kids...
Oh wait. I got that wrong didn't I? 

If I am ever elected President, my first act will be to read every Monty Python script on national television. Backwards. In French.

Fear may be the mind-killer, but that pork stew of yours is the pants-filler for sure.

The art of pretending is the art of wondering "why not", then answering the question yourself.

That's how conversations work now, Janet. You do both sides so others can imagine what it would be like to talk with you.

It is possible - if only just - to imagine a world stranger, sadder, and more soul-crushing than this one.

What? I thought this was a Grape Nuts commercial. 

 miamizsun wrote:
 
Unless there's raw egg in it, which leads us to your second point...

 NoEnzLefttoSplit wrote:
 

Hmmm. No eggs huh?

It occurs to me that occurrences are occuring everywhere; all the time...

 oldviolin wrote:
 
Unless they find out that dandelion tamers are notoriously bossy.

I wonder if dandelions ever run away from home and join the circus...

Peter Piper piped a pack of pickled principles and primed principalatial lips pursed on pulp-fresh pablum...

the recent crisis has shown us we need to build redundancy in the system. As of June 1, we will duplicate all management positions to ensure there is someone else who doesn't know what they are doing standing by to take over should the primary manager suddenly discover he or she doesn't know what he or she is doing. While this might not actually improve performance, it should at least delay the shock of exposing the incompetence of the management team as a whole. Thank you for your understanding.

 NoEnzLefttoSplit wrote: 

and it never needs refrigeration!

i'll take a family size to go please