miamizsun wrote: 
gasp.  

 Southern_Boy wrote: 

 

 Southern_Boy wrote: 
Twenty seven years ago, as a young man, I had to take my newborn child, to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. My son was dying, I had been laid off from my job. I had no money to speak of, no insurance and my son was on his death bed. I was pissed (for lack of a better term) at the world to say the least. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.

When I got to the hospital, I got a serious reality check. Floor after floor of terminally ill children, parents standing around weeping, crying out to god and watching their children die. It was horrible to watch. Needless to say it put things in perspective.

Please give my condolences to your friends.

Regards

 Southern_Boy wrote: 

 kysmet wrote: 
Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.

 Southern_Boy wrote: 
How tragic.  No parent should have to lose his or her child.

Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.

 Exit2Eden wrote: 
Certain things should come as no surprise. What I meant was, you shouldn't blame someone who you know is sick for letting you down. I've had two alcoholics and a schizophrenic in my family. I'm not without the experience of helping people close to me that stabbed me in the back... through no fault of their own. One simply needs to consider the source and take it in stride.

 arighter2 wrote: 
I totally get this.

I have fostered children who have been abused and neglected.  When they finally get into a situation where they have a stable place to live and enough food, they often steal from their hosts, not out of malice or even out of need, but because, in the back of their minds, they are planning for the day when it's not there anymore.  And often it's not money; it can be small things:  trinkets, single earrings, pens, eye glasses...I've had to go and retrieve all of these things from bedrooms.  And inevitably these children feel a mixture of shame and desperation.

They also will hoard food, sometimes in completely unrealistic quantities. 

I'm sorry that this happened to you.  I hope she starts to feel more comfortable and stable soon so she can break out of this behavior.

 arighter2 wrote: 
this sounds very familiar. i found myself in a similar situation a few years ago.  it is sad.

 arighter2 wrote: 
So excellent!  

 rosedraws wrote: 
All advice is appreciated. We have plugged her into the system and are hoping, among other things, for a positive outcome getting on the same housing program I'm on. I am also serving as chief cheerleader  on the job finding front. I have recurring access to social workers that I keep apprised of goings on as well. I am here to soften the circumstances, but I can't and wouldn't ameliorate them altogether.

 arighter2 wrote: 
You have a great attitude and a good plan. I love that you're stepping out for this person. But it's sounds like she's not ready for all this responsibility yet.  

I strongly recommend you connect yourself with a supervisor of sorts, someone who works in the field of helping the homeless. If you TRULY want to help this person, get an adviser.  Otherwise, you're likely to slip into unconscious co-dependency patterns.  Your love for this person keeps you strong for her (I understand that), but it also may prevent you from making firm boundaries, or backing away and letter her go through something difficult when it's appropriate.

I know you're savvy, so forgive me if I'm just going over stuff you already know & practice.

 

 arighter2 wrote: 
I think this is exactly right, L. I'm so sorry your good nature was taken advantage of, but it is helpful for you to know where you stand with her, so that you can proceed (as you said) more carefully.

 Beaker wrote:  Thank you.

 hippiechick wrote: 
Since I started writing, I have told her that I was missing the money, however I did not accuse her. In this instance, knowing her, I don't believe confrontation would be helpful because it would cause her to withdraw from the one person whose steadiness and connection she most needs.  From my own experience, I am totally plugged into the mental health/housing resources she needs.

 dmax wrote:
 
What, to witness the train wrecks?

 arighter2 wrote:  it's better to give to those in need, and unwillingly taken advantage of, than to ignore the need in the first place. 

 arighter2 wrote: 
Wishing the best possible outcome for you here Larry.Good on you for being there for your friend...

 arighter2 wrote: 
Are you just letting it go, or will you say something?